Decluttering Your (or your baby’s) Sleep Life

We are living in a world that is filled with an overload of information and resources, so easily accessible with just a tap of your finger on a device. “Just google it”. Endless amounts of blog posts or articles and a whole list of baby sleep books out there to fill up your whole entire bookshelf.

I’m all about proactive learning and equipping yourselves as parents to learn as much as you can. But sometimes there is just too much out there. It’s hard to know what to do, which information to filter out, which is right, and which is not quite the right fit for me, especially when they are seemingly conflicting or contradicting. What is the truth?!?!

Heard the saying “Your baby doesn't come with a manual”? It’s true. So instead we listening to other people’s advice, we do our own little search, stumble upon resources, and collect information and knowledge along the way. All not wrong, by the way. At least we are trying our best right?

And before you know it, clutter. You are confused by your own research. You have a whole bag of tricks, baby sleep products, sleep philosophies, beliefs, opinions, and………. you find yourself stuck. Riddled with fear, and anxiety. Just plain unhappy. Motherhood becomes a dread. And your partner, well he gets pushed to the side. His opinions and helpful gestures don’t matter, after all, you are the one who did all the reading/research right? And on top of that, you spent all your money on baby sleep products enough to fill a showroom.

Your baby is just not doing as the book/article/blog says, not fitting into that routine so you must be doing something wrong. Your sleep routine has become this dog and pony show it takes you literally forever to get your baby down. You have your own version of the 10 commandments (probably more like 33) that cannot be broken. You have become so rigid you are no fun to be around anymore. You don’t do social events and isolation is your new reality.

Do any of these scenarios sound familiar? This was me!

And then, there’s our unwanted neighbor of comparison and guilt.

So and so’s baby did this at this age, how come, my baby, is not? Is she broken? Am I a bad mom? What am I missing?!?! I feel so guilty, I don’t know anything!

And the cycle continues.

Now here is some good news for you! Have you experienced decluttering in your life? I know when I went on a journey of ruthlessly decluttering my home last year, I felt instantly lighter. Suddenly I can think clearer and make better decisions am much calmer at home, and I can find what I need when I need it. The same can be applied to baby sleep.

So here are my top tips on how to declutter your (or your baby’s) sleep life.

1. Filter all your information and resources through a lens of evidence (research) based research, and take all anecdotal advice with a pinch of salt.
2. Identify the root cause of your sleep issue. Without knowing what is the root cause of the problem you are facing, it's hard to address it accurately. It's like throwing spaghetti on the wall and hoping it sticks.
3. Following point no. 2, resist the urge to buy all the latest gadgets and sleep products out there that promise or guarantee magical sleep. Of course, there are some that will help support healthy sleep, and that I do recommend (a blog post on it coming up soon).
4. Let go. Let go of unrealistic expectations, strict one-size-fits-all cookie-cutter approaches, routines, and rules. There is seriously no such thing.
5. Develop your own set of routines that is realistic yet still meets the needs of your whole family.
6. Create rhythms and cues for your baby that is not solely dependent on you, such as a calming sleep routine so that it allows another caregiver to participate and yet maintain consistency.
7. Simplify your main purpose today as a parent which is to LOVE, GET TO KNOW, and ENJOY your baby/child. Love them fiercely, study them hard like they are your own version of a Ph.D., and enjoy them like there’s no tomorrow. You will then realize that all else really does pale in comparison and fades in the background.

I pray that you will feel encouraged, and will begin to experience the joy, sense of relief, and “lightness” that comes with the efforts of baby sleep decluttering.

Get Your Child to Sleep Through the Night Quickly and Easily Without Fuss, Tears, or Frustration

(From You or Your Child!) 

Sleeping On Purpose

By: Ruth Tai